Making better decisions

I have been drinking a lot less soda. I have had a little here and there, but nothing like a few days ago when I would go get an oversized Big Gulp. The first day I decided to do this,I turned down soda once at lunch when it was offered for free when Subway (one of my FAVORITES) catered at work. I even turned down the cookie and chips. I felt so proud of myself! Then later that night I felt like I really needed a big soda. I didn't do it. I got a big headache, but I got through it. The other night I wanted some soda so bad, and I had a small cup, but couldn't even finish it.

I feel really motivated right now. I went to Costco and bought a bunch of carrots, cucumbers, celery, peppers, oranges, and pears that I can just grab and go so I don't get so hungry that I decide to pull through a drive-thru again.

I really want to get to the point where I don't even have the desire to get fast food or soda. I used to get sick when I had fast food. I can remember when I was healthy and I threw up when I had Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. (My husband's favorites.) Last year when my family was all here awaiting the arrival of the baby, they all HAD to have their soda, and I thought they were crazy. I know that state of not even wanting it exsists somewhere in me.

Here are some pics. I am STILL 230. Vi weighed me yesterday and I was 235, but that was at the end of the day. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant. Then, like, EVERYONE has been asking about another baby. I can't decide if they are asking because I look pregnant, or they think it is time I start thinking about #2 because of her age, or if it because I bought a mama mini van. No matter what it is- I dont want to hear about baby #2 anymore. NO I AM NOT PREGNANT, and do not have plans to be any time soon.

Yesterday I started drinking alkaline water. I drank a lot more than I normally do, and I peed a lot more too. My mouth did not feel so yucky and dry. I wasn't as hungry, so I ate less too.

The 3 things I am going to focus on are:

I'm going to keep drinking my alkaline water, chew my food longer so I am not inhaling it, and eat more veggies.

Kristi is going to start doing a couch to 5k workout plan, and I want to start that too.

One more tip for today.

Buy one of those Velcro waist wraps for your tummy.

My favorite thing after a long walk (this is kinda gross so sorry) is to take off my waist wrap and wipe my back and tummy down from all the gross sweat that I worked off. Then I begin my side exercises in front of my bedroom mirror and I am in awe of how I'm gradually getting my waist back and this makes me happy. Weird, I know. But I just thought that I'd share in case you're interested in getting the same kind of wrap which will help you sweat out your toxins and mold your body back into shape =)

I forgot!

I forgot to mention some good advice my at home food expert:

Ernie: Do you find yourself hungry a lot? Eat complex carbs instead of simple. I eat a lot of whole wheat foods and barley soups. Also, meat should be a garnish and not overpower the meal. When I eat a turkey avocado on whole wheat, I make sure I ask for only 1 slice of the deli cut instead of having them pile it on. Another good tip my sexy man gave me is to eat superfoods. I love avocado and spinach, but I also make an effort to have a little dark chocolate and a small glass of red wine before bed. Yeah, I know you can't have the red wine, but believe me when I say that both taste like medicine to me anyways. Here's a list of superfoods for you to buy and enjoy:

*red wine, water & green tea
*avocado, broccoli, onions, peppers, soy, spinach, and sprouts, hot peppers, leeks, daikon radishes
*açai, apples, blueberries, pomegranates, pumpkin, kiwi, oranges & tomatoes
*wild salmon, turkey, eggs
*beans, barley, seeds, nuts, lentils, oats, walnuts & buckwheat
*cinnamon, dark chocolates, garlic, honey, extra virgin olive oil, sea salt, yogurt & kefir
*sea vegetables, Irish moss, umeboshi plums, wheat grass, miso

It's going to be okay.

I posted this in response to your comment a few weeks ago as to my 'big secret' that helps me keep losing even when I think I'm not:

I took advice from everyone in the family:

Alice: give yourself a cheat day once a week-this is the best b/c you always know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe you can build up to a point where you don't have a cheat day at all, but you'll find that you'll plan yummy, icky stuff for that special weekly day and when it hits you can't eat that much. (e.g. I planned to have Cheetos for breakfast and only ate maybe two handfuls before my craving was satisfied and I couldn't each any more.) Then the next day your body springs back into gear and you'll be even more pumped to exercise off the crap from the day before.

Rachel: don't let your exercise routine overwhelm you. If you can only walk 10-15 min/day then just do that instead of just not doing it altogether. 10 min x 5 days = 50 minutes/week = very good for you =)

Read: Do 10 sit ups/day before bed. Same idea: 10 sit ups x 7 days x 4 weeks = 280-310 sit ups / month! You won't see it right away, but over time you'll feel a difference.

Tanya: Digestive enzymes. When we over eat our food isn't always broken down completely and so digestive enzymes keep the digestive track working properly so I don't have that horrible bloated feeling that I used to get all the time after eating. The 'rhea went away too.

Cindy: walk wherever you can to do things. Take public transportation or just park your car further away from where you need to be. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Try not to mentally shut down while preparing to accomplish this. That is, get over the hump if you can. If you can't do it all at once then try just one thing at a time. The important thing is not to overwhelm yourself so you give up.

Another thing is be sure to get some perspective. I gave myself a year to lose 100 pounds. That's only 2 pounds / week, which is a pretty decent pace. Sometimes I'm ahead and sometimes I'll be behind, but I can only do as much as I can handle and if it gets to be too much then I'll have to adjust things accordingly. It's pretty much trial and error for me.

I think we all know how to lose weight (eat only 2000 calories/day & walk 1 hour 4 or 5 days a week), but we're all waiting to hear something profound that will move us enough to act upon that 'something' hoping it will finally work for us.

For me, that 'something' was a little bit of everything =)

Finding good friends

I just talked to my friend Vi. I have been thinking of her lately, and she said she has been thinking of me too. I have kept putting off calling her back because I am so crazy busy- as I continue going through drive thu's and ordering off the dollar menu. A year ago, 2 years ago, I could not imagine going through a drive thru and ordering such horrible, processed things. Now I do it, and I hate it everytime I do, but I continue because it is easy. My absolute worst question these days is, "What is for dinner?" I don't know, I don't care, just make me not hungry! But I feel gross. I feel sluggish. I get 7-9 hours of sleep and I am still tired. I love soda. I can't get enough cookies. Today I went to TJ's and bought a salad to try to make myself feel better, but then I also bought a ton of pre-made fast food that even my husband can make, to avoid the dreaded question. But I really do want to go natural, vegetarian, and even raw. After talking to Vi today, I am going to just drink water instead of soda, milk, and juice to start my detox. I totally believe I am toxic. I really want to feel better.

I need some motivation

Cookies, brownies, ice cream, fast food... nothing has changed.
I had a dream a few nights ago that I was like "woah, I am way bigger than I see myself." I really want to fit in my clothes!

Motivation, anyone?